Welcome to my blog! So what is this blog all about you might ask? It’s going to be full of information, whether you want to be in the entertainment industry or if you’re just a fan of music this blog is for you. This is […]
#HomecomingSzn at the Mecca Its been a hectic week, but last weekend I traveled back to Washington DC to attend the one and only Howard Homecoming. Returning to my alma mater is always a great experience, but there is something to be said about Homecoming […]
The Truth Behind the Hidden Anxiety
Overachiever, perfectionist, detail oriented, these are just a few of the terms that people use to describe people with “high-functioning” anxiety. While “high-functioning” anxiety is not an official diagnosis it is used to describe those who are driven by their anxiety instead of left frozen in panic. It’s a struggle that a lot of people don’t understand. It’s not understood because from the outside looking in people who identify as having high functioning anxiety it appears as though they have everything together. These people are the life of the party, they excel in their career or in school and they appear to be more than organized, but let me tell you from first-hand experience that these aspects that you see as a positive are often just coping mechanisms.
Anxiety is something I never imagined being a personal struggle. I grew up with enough to worry about when it came to my health, but as I got older I had to face the music that my mental health is just as important as my physical health. I didn’t understand why my brain never stopped running or why I could never let things go. I make lists for everything, EVERYTHING. It’s my way of attempting to clear my mind. I often over analyze every conversation, interaction with friends and co-workers, and then I constantly worry about what I could have done differently. Something as simple as not getting a text back sends me into the abyss as to what I did wrong. In essence I go from zero to one hundred in the blink of an eye and I don’t even realize I’m doing it. It took me a long time to come to terms with anxiety, partially because I felt that I had to have everything together, but I realized that this was a “defect” of the condition. In reality my heart races constantly and I’m forced to laser focus on the task at hand in order to not lose my mind.
Explaining to others that you have anxiety can be scary. Very scary. It’s made even worse when you can’t explain to others what’s wrong or how they can help you. For me and others who deal with high functioning anxiety it can be that much worse. On the surface we are like ducks, calm, cool, and collected, but just below the surface we’re working at 100 mph just to stay afloat. In light of National Suicide Prevention week I felt it was important to share my struggle to let others know that they’re not alone. Dealing with any mental health issue is important and can sometimes be the difference between life and death. While explaining your struggle with anxiety or depression may seem like a daunting task just know I’m always a listening ear. Whether we’re friends, strangers, or family I’m always here.
When Life Goes Left
When I was younger I thought that by the time I was 25 I would have my life together. I would be getting married, excelling in my career, paying off my student loans at record speed (ha!), and buying my first house. As I sit up writing this I can safely say that I am nowhere near where I thought I would be, and I’m learning that it is OK. I’m 26 years old, living at home, single as a dollar bill, and definitely not “brunching” every weekend as I envisioned. Hell I’m not even working in the field I envisioned for myself when I graduated college, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned you have to go with the flow and accept the opportunities that come to you because sometimes that is what will lead you to your biggest breakthrough.
If we’re being honest, it has taken me nearly 5 months to find the focus and the courage to simply write this post. It was almost 5 months ago to the day that I left a job I loved and left behind everything I knew and thought I needed to be happy. When I made the decision to leave my job it was one that caught many off-guard, including myself in some regards, but it was something I’ve found that I had to do to protect my mental well-being. Was I happy? Sure. I loved my job, but nothing is worth sacrificing your self-respect and inner peace. It was an act of strength, or some may say cowardice, to leave but for me it is what had to be done.
So now I’m at what some would call square one simply trying to find my way out of this black hole that I’ve sunken into over the months. I stopped going out, I put on a smile and acted as though everything was great, but in reality I was going through it. I felt as though I had lost my friends, my social standing, and the little bit of clout in my field that I had worked so hard to gain. I will never say that I was destitute as I had a second job that hired me on full time and a loving family that supported me through it all, but there was still that feeling of inadequacy. That feeling of inadequacy can outweigh anything positive in your life. It will cause you to lose focus on anything else. I already compared myself to my friends and peers I went to school with; now here I was scrutinizing the every move of perfect strangers.
So no I don’t currently have a position in my desired field but I’m thankful for the job I do have. I’m working on buying my first home, traveling the world, and taking the time date. Because let’s be honest, getting married young just isn’t for everybody (I’m still coming to terms with this one tbh) and dating is uh fun. At one point in time I thought I had to have a successful career, brunch on the weekend, travel the world, and truly have my sh*t together, but I’m being a true millennial and forging my own path. I’m drafting my own journey from scratch and it’s exhilarating. Don’t get me wrong, I’m scared sh*tless but I have faith that in the end everything will turn out better than I could have ever envisioned it for myself.
Finding my light has been a slow process, but I’ve been taking baby steps on finding myself again. Recently I was listening to Attorney Michelle Garcia Shaw speak and she shared one of her favorite quotes, “other people’s opinion of you is none of your business” and it is exactly what I needed to hear. It is the judgement of others that made me so self-conscious and afraid to live my life in the first place. So go right on ahead and continue your own fabulous journey knowing that you’ll end up right where you’re supposed to be in the end.
A City writing it’s place in history through culture & architectural advancement Dubai, the new playground for the rich and famous is quickly making a name for itself. It is where Princes and rich housewives vacation, but the average person can only dream of going, […]
The Year of the Publicist
2016 has been a year of growth, a year of learning, and most importantly a year full of life changing experiences. While I may not be able to fully appreciate all of the lessons that 2016 has thrown my way I keep them in the back of my mind for the day that I am ready to process what I have been taught. No doubt the year was full of trials and tribulations I was able to overcome and I worked harder than I ever have before. I know in 2017 my hard work will continue to manifest itself into great rewards as long as I continue to work hard. Over the course of the year I have gained insurmountable career experience and been a part of one of the greatest teams. I have seen a city grow and flourish before my eyes and I can’t wait to see what next year holds.
As the Account Executive at BethanyEast PR I have been fortunate to be a part of some of San Antonio’s biggest events in 2016. My team has taught me that nothing is impossible with a little determination, hard work, and a whole lot of trap music (LOL). From launching #GoodPeopleSA Soul Saturday in partnership with District 2, to planning Centro’s downtown Brand Launch and Centropolitan Awards, 2016 was a whirlwind. Our events now garner more than 3500 attendees-and we’re a team of 4 people! I’ve had the opportunity to plan the Grand Opening for University Health System’s new facility coming to San Antonio’s East side, re-brand Café Commerce into what is now LaunchSA, work alongside San Antonio for Growth on the Eastside (SAGE) as they look to educate and empower Eastside business owners, and most importantly I’ve worked alongside the coolest, most epic boss any girl could imagine.
Let me tell you my team stays winning. In a world that looks to tear down and minimize the power and potential of the African American community my team stays LIT. We are the definition of #BlackGirlMagic if I do say so myself (sorry Uche). Whether we’re running in the streets making connections, booking national entertainment for events, or just grinding it out at the office, we get the job done. It’s been an incredible year. Now I don’t say all of this to say it’s been perfect but it’s definitely been worth it. We don’t always get the recognition we deserve, but I know that in due time we will be a force that cannot be ignored. We’re coming for everything we deserve.
While 2016 has come to an end I’m just getting started. My 2017 is already action packed and I’m ready for it. My team is starting the year off with the most hectic month of events and projects in true BethanyEast fashion. With a grand 8 events in 2 weeks I’m here to rock January whether I get sleep or not. However, I’m kicking the month off with a little fun and taking a trip to my second home, Washington DC to check out the new National Museum of African American History and Culture. Don’t worry you’ll be able to catch up on my travels on the blog when I return, or if you can’t wait that long you can follow me on social media.
In 2017 I want to refocus myself on learning, fine tuning my skills and truly growing into the boss babe that I know I am meant to be. Drop a comment and let me know what you’re looking to accomplish in 2017.